Mary Christmas

My friends T and D are visiting for the Holidays. It is so great spending time with T again. I've missed him. We took this pic yesterday at their resort. A nice place called The Century.

I have been such a bad blogger. It has been one month and three days since I took my life and turned it upside down. I am happy to report it was definitely the right thing to do. Things are settling and I have calmed down.

Batman has been back in Illinois for the Holiday. He returns today. That's all I want for Christmas.

Festival of Lights

I Made It

After a ten and a half hour drive last Wednesday, I arrived. What a long day pulling a trailor. But every minute was worth it.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with the neighbors. The weather was nice and the wine was flowing.

Batman has been great. I count my blessings every day.

The new job is going well and the people seem really cool so far.

The gym we go to has to be one of the top ten gayest places in the Universe. They should re-name it Daddyland.

Tonight we are going downtown for the Thursday Night Market. This Saturday we'll be back down there for The Festival of Lights Parade. I have Santa hats for the both of us and those little strings of battery powered lights to adorn them, GAY!!! 'Tis the Season!

We started decorating the house last weekend. So far we have wrapped one palm tree in red lights and the balcony out front has a wreath with red lights, plus a green spotlight behind it.

Saying Good-Bye

Last night I was able to meet with and say good-bye to most of my favorite people here in Sacramento. Jimmy and Dixie showed up, as well as TC and Hans, Susan, Rob, Tom, Gary, Johnny and Ron. Vixen came by Thursday night and I may get to see her again for lunch on Tuesday.

I don't know how I have become so fortunate, but I have found myself surrounded by wonderful people in Northern California.

Something has been missing in my life for quite some time. I found it again with Batman. He truly is everything anyone would want in a partner: smart, funny, generous and good looking to name a few of his stellar qualities.

Many people will be missed and some I will probably never see again. But it is time for me to begin this new chapter in my life. I look forward to it with great anticipation!

I Am Palm Springs' Newest Resident

I am so tired. At noon today, I said good-bye to Batman and got in my truck to return to Sacramento. Seven hours and forty-five minutes = 506 miles. Thankfully, I made it down there and back without any problems.

I got the job! J and I are soooo happy! I am doing the drive again on the 22nd. I have plans to spend the holiday in Palm Springs and I will be starting my new job the following Monday.

I am grateful.

Truckin'

Early tomorrow morning, which will be Friday, I am getting in my truck and heading to Palm Springs. I have an interview scheduled for Saturday at 1pm. The prospective employer has been very accomodating.

I really want this job - I know, careful what you ask for!

My truck is loaded with approximately 1/3 of my belongings. It will be about an eight hour drive! I hate driving that long. Hell, I hate driving a fraction of that distance. But, Batman is waiting for me! I am planning on turning around and coming back on Sunday evening, argh!

One other thing about this weekend. It just happens to be "Leather Weekend" in Palm Springs... I'm taking that as a good omen.

Wish me luck.

Happy Halloween

Surrender Yer Booty!

Last night Vixen, G, and myself hit the bars and celebrated Holloween. We had a blast! I finally got to sleep around 4:30 - I need more rest.

The Oasis

This picture was taken from the balcony off of the second bedroom at Batman's house in Palm Springs. I was just there last weekend. We celebrated his Birthday and I went to two interviews with staffing agencies.
It has became apparent that I am going to have to accept a marginal position anywhere just to get a job down there. Once I am down there I will be able to compete for a better position. December 1st is my goal to be moved and working. I can't wait!

Garage Sales - California Style

The first time I went to visit Batman in Palm Springs, there were several people having garage sales in his community. At one of them, he picked up what we affectionately call the flipper-dipper. It is a contraption that one is strapped into and can be flipped in any direction - a lot of fun!

This morning I took my roommate G over to a friends garage sale. There he had many things. One thing in particuliar was what he called a fuck-bench. It is actually a hard flat sling, sans the stand. You may recall I no longer have mine, it was in my car when it was stolen. It had a stand and was the traditional type. Batman has the same one. My friend gave me the "fuck-bench". I can't wait to set it up when I get down there!

Leather, Lust and Love

As planned, Batman did come up for The Folsom Street Fair. He flew into Northern California on Thursday evening and we enjoyed the yard on Friday, then went to dinner with some friends that evening. Saturday afternoon we loaded up my truck and headed into SF.

What a fucking weekend! Saturday night we went to Magnitude. That has got to be the best dance party on the West Coast. It's actually the only one that I will just wear my Nasty Pig chaps and a jock. There were probably three thousand men, lasers, porn being projected on the wall, a fantastic dj, and live "acts" happening on the stage every once in a while. Not to mention the area set aside sponsored by Dungeon Beds! HOT!

Later that night, Batman told me everything I had been waiting to hear. We have decided not to wait any longer. As soon as I have a job in Palm Springs, I am moving. I can't wait to be with him full-time.

On Sunday, we went to the Fair and had a great time. The pic above was taken by some stud that works for Nasty Pig. He was taking pics of guys wearing their product.

Later that evening we went to The Bad Party. Another great event.

On Monday we returned home for recuperation. Monday night we discussed everything. I am so lucky! Instead of being melancholy because Batman was leaving Tuesday morning, we were both happy. It wasn't the end of a visit. But rather, the beginning of something very special.

Hello

Man, it really has been a long time since I sat down with BLOGGER!

I don't know where to begin...

Batman came for a visit and we had a great time. We laid around the compound, went to the river, The State Fair (ate way too many fried things), and I fell even more for him! It was so hard to see him go, again. He said he would be back for The Folsom Street Fair.

We opened up The Compound for a party on Labor Day. Wow, we had sixty dudes here! Good Times...

I reconnected with a friend that I had been very worried about. I had been hearing things about him that led me to believe he was in trouble. He is. Addicted to meth and his life is about to crumble any day. What can I do? Not much, not anything more than I have done. It is very sad. A vibrant, charismatic man turned to nothing but an empty shell. I promised him I wouldn't call his family. He went and cleaned out for a short while and has gone to one meeting. It has taken a great deal of my energy spending time with and talking to him on the phone. I'm afraid contacting his family is my last and only step.

Fall is here and the pool is too cold. Work still sucks, but better things are just around the corner...

Mornin' Wood

Here at The Compound, things are always being added or changed. Here is a picture of my new french doors and deck that G added to my room recently.

It has really changed the feel of the room. I now call it the Key West Room. It is so nice to just step right outside for a cig in the middle of the night, or to grab a cup of coffee and welcome the day.

Vixen, Pool Parties, Porn Stars & My Favorite Boyz

Wow, what a time I have had since last Friday. Vixen put her final notice in at work and I had all of our co-workers over this last Friday evening to wish her luck. Instead of Q'ing for for 14 people, I ordered Chinese from the little place around the corner. It was very good and everyone had a great time sitting in and around the pool while drinking Pink Johnnies. She is moving on to better things and I am happy for her, yet I will miss seeing her during the week.

On Saturday, I had a pool party to attend. I have been to this annual event for the last four to five years. It takes place on a working ranch about thirty miles South of town. The pool is HUGE. It is modeled after the outdoor pool at Hearst Castle. I still remember the first time I saw it, there were at least fifty gay men in the pool. Since it is a working ranch, there is a barn which tends to get a little cruisy... T, Ru, and I spent the entire day there. We had a great time.

The next morning, T and I headed into San Francisco for The Dore Alley Street Festival. It was 76 degrees and clear all day. Dore Alley is what The Folsom Street Fair used to be twenty years ago. The city closes off a block in all four directions at the corner of Dore Alley and Folsom Street right in front of The PowerHouse Pub. We cruised, flirted and danced. We followed that by going to my favorite bar in the City on Sundays, The E. There we ran into, for the third time, this couple we met earlier. S&G, very hot, muscled LeatherMen. They actually live in the same city as I and we were all surprised we hadn't met before. Things got a little randy at the bar. I was kissing one of them and his mouth just felt so damn good I pushed it right down onto my cock. Fuckin incredible, but then after a few minutes I realized how many people were watching us and I raised him off his knees... Thirty minutes later I was enjoying how well the other one was kissing and guess what, the exact same thing, down on his knees for a while until I pulled him up... Have I mentioned the cute little Latino they had with them? Yep, he kissed good as well. Yes, the same story! What a great fuckin' day!

Monday night I pulled out the trick card S&G had given me. I noticed that there was something about the web address I should check out before e-mailing them like I said I would. I went to the site, THEY'RE FUCKING PORN STARS! Extreme porn at that. I can't wait. They were flying to Berlin on Tuesday for the beginning of Folsom Europe, I won't see them for a few weeks... Not sure if I am going to let on that I know...

Last night, I got on Gay.com to get a boy over here. My two favorites hit me up pretty quickly. They are a couple that I have had a great deal of fun with in the last year. The are 27 and 38, white and Latino respectively. I went over there and they wanted to drop tabs, I am so easy I joined in... What a great experience, we kept going back and forth from the hot tub to the bedroom. I woke up there at 6:30 this morning after just three hours of sleep. I dragged ass all day. Even with drudging around the office all day, I had a smile on my face!

WELCOME TO THE COMPOUND - HNT

Truly A Gemini

I'm On Top of The World...

This picture was taken from a vista at the top of the San Jacinto Mountains just outside of Palm Springs. Batman and I took the tramway up on Wednesday morning to escape the heat. It was 106 on the fourth and the mercury was forecast to reach that point again on the fifth. When we reached the top, it was a refreshing 69 degrees!

We had a great time together. The time we spent with P & M in Orange County was a lot of fun also. P's birthday party was on Sunday and most of the guests were neighbors. A very cool collection of people. The '64 Impala was a huge hit. I had mentioned the Pink Johnnies and we ended up getting everything to make those - very well received - they were primarily what everyone was drinking!

On Monday, we drove down to Laguna Beach and Dana Point. The traffic on PCH was extremely heavy the entire way. The beaches were packed. We stopped and had a drink and a bite to eat then headed back. There was another party that night in P & M's neighborhood. Pretty much the same people that were at P's party.

Tuesday morning we left OC and headed for Palm Springs. It was great spending all that time with Batman. We spent most of the afternoon in the pool. Later that night we went downtown to a new bar, Azul, to see a show and check out the celebration. Then we went and found a parking spot for the fireworks. We waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, Batman thought that maybe we could see them from his second story balcony. We rushed back to his house and as I was stepping onto the balcony the pyrotechnics began. A very nice private moment.

The next morning we went up the tramway. It was beautiful up there. After a little hiking, we stopped and had a cocktail in the bar at the top. Clouds would roll right past us.

Many times on this visit I wanted to have "the talk" with Batman. I would plan to say something as we were driving, at the beach, during the fireworks, at the top of the tramway. But I chickened out each time.

Finally, while we were cooling off in the pool before leaving to catch my flight, while holding him, I told him exactly how I felt. The feeling is unanimous! I still feel as though "I'm on top of the world"!

HNT - Ouch!

Work Crap, Lazy Summer Days, and Fireworks

Well, the first person who was hired at work quit before her second day began by sending an e-mail! Contestant number two is stupid, lazy, appears to not hear well, and did I say stupid? Tomorrow we are shutting down to do inventory until we are done, hopefully we will be out by 8pm. At first they wanted us to come back and finish on Saturday! I made such a stink about that, I almost lost my job. Now I wish I had!

34 Amity Lane really rocked last weekend. On Saturday, we had a dozen people all trying to beat the heat with frozen drinks in and around the pool. It was over 100 again! We had a great time. Vixen showed up and brought her Mother who is visiting from Denver. Her Mother had never been exposed to so many gay men at once. She tried to keep up with the drinking, but just couldn't. I'll never forget the face on Vixen when she and I came out of the house with another round of "Purple Tom's" to find her Mother learning to smoke pot! Priceless!

Sunday was low-key. I got up early to run, did some chores which included washing my truck. Afterwards I went to run some errands only to find my battery dead. Ida came over and jumped it for me, but it didn't hold the charge. Unexpected $63. Damn! After that was all done, G had made a batch of margaritas. I just had a towel wrapped around myself and decided to put a suit on. I had sipped maybe once or twice from the frozen treat. As I was walking around the edge of the pool, I must've lost my footing. All I know is, as I was falling in my right foot caught the pool deck from the top of my toes, along the top of my foot, scraping the side of my ankle and finishing on the upper part of my lower leg, OUCH! As I hit the water, my freshly poured margarita went skipping across the water like a rock. What a waste. I was thankful nobody saw it, it was not graceful. After surveying the damage, I slowly got out of the pool. G and his good friend helped me. They insisted I put ice on it right away. Then it was twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off, twenty minutes on, etc... Not quite the day at the pool I had imagined. They next day it was pretty swollen, but that has gotten better. I am lucky I didn't break anything, especially with the insurance I have!

I haven't even told Batman about it yet. I am flying to Orange County to see him Saturday afternoon. I figure I will give him the chance to make fun of me in person! We are going to spend a few days there with P & M in Huntington Beach. It is P's birthday and there is a party for him either Saturday or Sunday. P is a collector of antique cars. He has nine that he has completely restored and won awards with. He also likes to smoke pot. I found a pretty good gift. It is a black 1964 Chevy Impala marijuana pipe! Very cool!

As usual, I am very excited about seeing Batman. It has been five and a half weeks since he was here! I miss him so much, so often. We are spending a few days along The Coast, then we are heading to Palm Springs for the third and fourth. I fly back North on the fifth.

Work Life and Weekend Round-up

Well, another one bites the dust. Sarah gave her notice a couple of weeks ago citing "lack of benefits" as her reason to move on. But I know that a good part of her leaving was the "evil little garden gnome" who manages the place. Her last day was Wednesday. The place is like a tomb without her!
I know what I have to do, I just am not looking forward to it. I have always found looking for work rather depressing. Not smoking pot for weeks and coming out to yet another group of people is never fun for me. But I know what I have to do. Hell, just last Monday I was lectured on ethics by a man who tells everyone to stay out of the warehouse when the State Workers Comp officials are around doing audits because he doesn't carry the correct plan! What the fuck?
Since Sarah has meant so much to me, I invited everyone over to "the compound"on Friday evening for a going away pot-luck. Even Ida showed up briefly to share some smoke! Thankfully, only the fun ones showed up. We had several pink Johnnie's, more shots of Patron, countless beers, good food, and a pinata filled with candy, lube, penis suckers and other sexual treats. Plus a watergun fight. Most of them hadn't been here before and just loved it.
On Saturday some of the usual suspects started to trickle in. Vixen, Tom, Ida, G and several of his friends. More Pink Johnnies! Next weekend we are going to try Purple Toms...
After a day in the blazing sun, I took a disco nap, did a little workout then took G and myself to the local leather bar around 10:30, we had a good time.
On Sunday, after my run, I did a little skinny dipping and sun bathing. Then I headed over to Toms. He just went through a breakup and it has hit him harder than either of us expected. We went downtown and met a friend of his for lunch and beers. Then it was over to his house for a couple of movies, a bunch of candy and a very large pizza. A very nice day.
When I got back to the compound at 10pm, G and his Mother were just beginning to clean up after a dinner party they had. My God! The kitchen was a bigger mess than after my party! It was obvious they had a great time! They had hosted a total of ten people with enough wine and food for an army.
Monday night G, a friend of his and myself, dined on leftovers and had yet another good evening...
I love this place!

To Nancy

I miss you so much. There is never a day that passes that you aren't on my mind. You gave me and the rest of your children so much. Today marks ten years since you passed. It's really amazing how much can happen in such a short amount of time. I know you are still with us, smiling, laughing and occasionally shaking your head back and forth...Give Joe a big hug for me, and always know that I love you. Thank you for everything.

34 Amity Lane

Ida and myself have begun to call this place "The Compound". The house itself is just a little over two thousand square feet. But it sits on a very large corner lot. From the front of the house, the house is in a V-shape with the point coming out the furthest.

In the backyard the house wraps around a botanist's playground. There are banana trees sitting along side redwoods, we have cala lilies, birds of paradise, agapanthas, iris, many different cana's, a variety of ferns and a host of other plants and flowers. When Batman saw it, he said, "This place is like a resort!".

When I moved in, I had already began to go out less. Now, I rarely want to leave at all. Usually during the week I will hit the gym immediately after work, maybe stop at the store, then come straight home, pop open a beer and relax in the backyard. By the time I get around to fixing something for dinner, it is usually around nine o'clock.

Weekends are my favorite time. In the mornings I like to get errands and chores done so that I can spend the remainder of the day lounging by the pool. It is always fun to see who may stop by. So far there have been days when it is just a few men, maybe a few naked, or a good mixed crowd and everyone enjoys themselves.

This weekend was especially nice. Saturday it reached 94 fuckin' degrees. I loved it. The pool temperature had reached 78 and felt perfect. Being the amateur mixologist that I am, I tried to create a new drink. I called it a "Pink Johnny"- Easy and Fun! One can of frozen pink lemonade, one can full of SKYY vodka, add ice and blend. Naturally, they were garnished with a slice of lemon. They were a little tart, but I liked them! We went through all four cans of concentrate, so I believe others liked them as well.

Vixen came over on Sunday. That girl! I swear, she is a gay man trapped in that body of hers... A very pretty girl overflowing with moxie. We had a good time. I call her my sister-from-another-mister and I am her brother-from-another-mother. We've always had fun together. Originally she was just going to be here for about an hour before meeting another friend of ours at a live Blues event. But Vixen was flaked upon! Karma! So, she called and said she was heading back, I was glad. We had already had a couple PJ's and a shot of Patron plus a little mj. When she got back we tossed back another shot of Patron and cracked open a couple of Heinie's.

Of course G was there and his tan is nearly perfection, or is it that orange suit? He had a few friends over who I have really came to like. Ida stopped by for a short while. Later, boi showed up. He arrived with three water guns, one for each of us roommates, very sweet. Once he left his guard down, I loaded up and G and I got him good! I thought I had better get him before he got me. He got us back by throwing us in the pool.

Shortly after that it was just the three of us. "The Compound" had quieted. We BBQ'd, had a nice dinner, and called it another weekend.

A Public Service Announcement

Half Nekkid Thursday

I thought I might post something just a little different this Thursday...

Simply G at The Compound

While I was writing the very end of my last post, I could hear Simply Red floating in through my open window. That could only mean one thing, G is home and playing tunes on his computer at the other end of the "compound".
When I walked out to the pool, he was just beginning to enjoy a martini. Being the consummate roommate, I said that I would shake one together quickly and join him. And so I did.
G is a great guy, very funny with countless stories. Tonight he was reflecting on a new beginning that is unfolding in his life. I let him know how exciting of a time I thought that was for him, but it is also a little frightening, rightfully so. He is aware of everything he has to do and I am sure he will do just fine.
Half way through our Bombay 'tini's, we came up with a brilliant idea for a Halloween party. We had been talking about tacky White Elephant Christmas parties and some of the terrible gifts we had seen. Then it just clicked in both our minds: A White Elephant Costume Party!
We are still unsure of the details : Do you have so many people bring different sizes, or do you really have fun and whatever someone opens they wear - regardless? I think the latter...
Then boi (3rd roommate) came home. He joined us for a while. I wonder what he must think sometimes. He's a cute young man and very sweet. With that said, he balances G and myself quite well!
34 Amity Lane is composed of three very different characters all blending together to make a great mix.
It's going to be a good Summer! I have a new cocktail I am going to blend up this weekend when it reaches the nineties. I've already named it the "Pink Johnny". I may not cook that well, but I am usually a good mixologist. I'll keep you informed...

A Yearly Tradition

This picture was taken at a very special place to me. I took it just a week and a half ago on the 22nd. I have been trekking up to this spot for at least six years. It is the perfect place to get away from it all. You can either appreciate the solitude while stretched out on a lone rock, lay out a blanket on the beach and have a good time with friends, or cruise naked men!
While Batman was here, I wanted to share with him what I have found as my favorite place in Northern California. It is just about an hour drive up into the foothills of the Sierras. The elevation is a little over 2,000 feet. I won't give the name here. Too many people have found it in the last several years.
The river carves its way through a canyon of granite. The path to the beach is only 9/10 of a mile hike in. The path is very narrow for most of the hike. The earth drops dramatically from the trail. A good thirty feet in some places. As you are walking, there are many areas to stop and look upon the river. This stretch of it is composed of a series of pools which are carved into the granite. They are blue, still and beautiful. There are a few spots, if you get there early enough, you have a private pool for the day. Sure once in a while someone will come along and realize there is one accessible rock to lay on and it is taken. Or, on rare occasions you may even have a few innertubers pass by.
But you can tell by the picture, this river is not still at all. She is roaring. I had never been up this early in the Summer before last year. I had always waited until later in June. I was shocked to see a completely different river.
Batman truly appreciated what I shared with him. It reminded him of a river at Mt. Hood. He told me a story about the first time he had been at that river. He discovered someone floating nearby, got help, and they saved him. That was the day he saved a life. He is a HERO.
It was the best way I could spend my birthday, at a beautiful place accompanied by my Superhero.
I don't know where I'll be next year in May. But if I am in Northern California, I know I will be taking a familiar hike to a very special place.

Party re-cap

Yes, it did rain and rain and rain as forecasted... But, as I expected, we still had a good time. Minus the "poolboy", there were twenty-six of us total. The poolboy did a decent job mixing the margaritas, the demand for them never died down...

Ida helped at the grill. That was a great idea in planning. And it actually went really well until she decided to take up a collection for some bud and leave the grill full of chicken breasts! I finished up the cooking and it all turned out fine. Plus, we had more bud when she returned...

A few people actually put on swimming attire and swam! I thought I was buzzed! Hell, it was in the sixties and raining...

R made it, but wasn't himself... He took a nap for a while and we got a picture of that. After he woke, we wouldn't let him leave and drive for a while. Hell, he didn't even know which way the freeway was from my house.

Batman handled the chaos quite well. He busied himself by making sure the poolboy was actually working. At one point, the boy asked him, "WHERE are you from?"... Why Gotham of course.

Susan made it and brought me a fantastic painting she had created for my birthday with a beautiful floral arrangement. The painting is so cool. I haven't been able to take a picture of it which does it justice, but once I do, I'll post it.

Batman brought me an iPod Nano. What a great gift! It has changed my morning runs and workouts dramatically. More on him later...

I also received bottles of Patron, from Rachel and Sarah. Ida gave me a cool volleyball set for the front yard - maybe over the pool if we get it rigged correctly. Jean came and had a square floatie for a cooler. I am sure that will be floating in the pool full of refreshments soon! I also received a bottle of sapphire... and I feel terrible that I have no clue who brought it. THANKS!

So, blue skies and warm weather are not required to have a successful BBQ. Everyone enjoyed themselves and I am still hearing stories...

Flight 2047 H

It has been six weeks since I last saw Batman. Today he is arriving at noon, finally! I have threatened to strip him and do him right there in the garage at the airport in my truck. Maybe I will save him the embarassment and get him home first...

It's My Party...

And it will rain if it wants to!

After several weekends of weather with blue skies and temperatures in the eighties and nineties, the day of my BBQ is forecast to be in the mid sixties with showers... Fuck it. I wanted to throw this party to have fun with my friends. I don't care if we all are stuck inside, it may just get us drinking more! I have had a few people apologize for the impending storms, like they are causing them. Each time I have responded with an "I don't care". I really don't. It's always good to have your friends gathered around you, I'm blessed to have them.

Moving Up The Age Ladder

Seeking a Poolboy for Summer Parties

My roommate and I are looking for a good looking young man (or two) to help us out when we entertain this Summer. You should look good in just a speedo or jockstrap, your choice. Other expectations include: the ability to make blended margaritas, pour beers, help a little in the kitchen and pick up after our guests while having a positive attitude and a lot of fun. You should respond with a pic, stats, and what you would expect for an hourly wage. Our first BBQ is scheduled for 5/21/06, a Sunday, from 2 to 8pm.
You must be 21 years old with a valid ID. This is not an ad for sex. Please do not waste my time if you are not interested.

I posted the ad above a couple different times. I only received a few responses. Contestant Number One e-mailed back and forth with me for a few weeks. He stopped by and checked the house and us out last week. He is soooo young, twenty-two. He is also very cute, with some catering experience. My roommate G, Ida and I all liked him. He actually does bodywork on cars for a living (Hot!), and is just looking for a little extra money. He only wants $8.50 an hour and I am going to set him up with a tip jar.

Contestant Number Two was a hot twenty-seven year old that wasn't looking for a job, but rather looking to give one. Which is fine, but I think I need help around this house when entertaining more.

G and I went and picked up the bar for the backyard last night. I have been stockpiling liquor for weeks. R would be proud.

Batman is due to arrive on Saturday the 20th. I haven't shared with him that I have employed a "boy". I think I'll save that as a surprise, I want to see the look on his face.

34 Amity Lane is about to R-O-C-K!

Telephone Conversation

TC: "We're working around the house today. What are you doing?"
AJ: "Well, I just got a call from Contestant #1 and he is on his way over."
TC: "How does that work again?"
AJ: "I don't know, I'm just making it up as I go along."
TC: "That's why I like you."
AJ: "No, really, this boy is on his way over, he's twenty-two and driving up from Stockton. I placed that ad on C's List. The ad said that I needed a "pool-boy" to pour beers, blend margaritas, clean up after my friends, while wearing either a speedo or a jock-strap, your choice."

Thirty-Four Amity Lane

After fifteen months of living by myself, I thought it would be good to find a roommate. Not because I want somebody constantly around, but I find it comforting to know someone is coming and going. I also thought it would be a natural avenue for a bigger network of friends. With the weather warming up, a few of my friends, as well as some of G's, have started showing up to lounge by the pool. It's been a great mix. So far the skies have been eternally blue, the cocktails and beers cold, and everyone has brought a fun attitude.

There is plenty of room for everyone. This home was designed for entertaining. I am hosting a party on the twenty-first of this month. No, I am not cooking...

I mentioned a few posts back, it is rumored that G likes to be in her heals by the pool. Not just her! There is an "event" which takes place at this pool and is quite competitive. To compete in the "Diva Dive", one must strap on a pair of high-heals, strut down to the far end of the pool, dive in, walk out of the opposite side of the pool, up the stairs, prance over to the nearest chaise, gracefully sit down and remove the heals. I must say, it is hilarious to watch. Fortunately, I knew right away it wasn't my sport.

Next weekend we have a third roommate moving in. I am hoping the dynamics of the house will remain fun. How can they not?

LET IT BLEED

What a shitty day. I knew from the very beginning, when I was shuffling about with my coffee, it would suck. It did.

Work is back to just leaving me drained and used.

After that less than worthwhile experience, I hit the mall. Not because I thought it might lift my spirits, but because I desperately needed some things. I've been putting it off. I hate the mall. Bright lights, inquisitive and chatty salespeople, overpriced goods made by children in a third world country, other people just as miserable as myself. I don't even know what I spent. It doesn't matter, I needed everything.

I came home and started the grill. I have been loving living in this house. I have only cooked once on the grill here. Tonight I had several pork chops to BBQ. I thought for sure I would ruin them - keeping with the theme of the day. Fortunately, they were great. At least I thought so.

R called before I threw the meat on the grill. It was good to hear from him. He's had a couple rough days as well, but sounded good. He and M are leaving for The City this weekend. I hope they have a great time.

I am really getting tired of only having someone in my life every four to five weeks for a weekend. The time I get to spend with J is wonderful, but it's becoming more difficult to say good-bye, and then only communicate via the phone and internet for the next month. I don't know what to do. I don't want to stop seeing him, I think I'm in love. But if it has to continue as it has, I will have no choice. It's just too hard. I don't expect some instantaneous change, but rather the two of us creating a goal and working towards that. I hope I don't push too much too soon for him.


Well we all need someone to lean on,
And if you want it, well you can lean on me.
Well, we all need someone we can lean on,
And if you want it, well you can lean on me...

Yeah, we all need someone we can dream on
And if you want it, well you can dream on me.
Yeah, we all need someone we can cream on,
And if you want to, well you can cream on me...

We all need someone we can bleed on,
And if you want it, baby, well you can bleed on me.
We all need someone we can bleed on,
And if you want it, why don't you bleed on me...
You can bleed all over me.

WHITE OUT!

I arrived back in Northern California last night around 11. The weekends I spend with Batman are GREAT. Unfortunately, when Sunday comes around all I can think about is how one of us is getting on a plain and leaving later that day. It just gets harder and harder to say good-bye. My heart aches.

Friday night we just took it easy and walked around downtown until we found a place to eat. We happened upon a trendy little place that was still open (apparently most restaurants close around 9!) with good service and food. After that we went back to the house to relax. We stretched out on the couch and in less than five minutes we were heading up to the bedroom. Good times...

I woke up before J on Saturday, got the coffee going, then went for a run a little later. After breakfast we went to the little street fair they had filled with vendors. Inside the Gay Mart I found the pair of white pants I had been searching for for weeks. Instead of a fly they have several snaps in an upside down U-shape. Behind the snaps is a sort of ring to hang your package through, raise the flap and snap it shut. Stylish and naughty. Later in the day we ran some errands then went to his gym. My God, the place is like The Village, Halstead Street and The Castro all rolled into one. Funny actually.

That night we went to the "official" White Party. By that time, there had already been at least three dance parties beginning on Friday. Rosabel were the deejays. Later, we went on to the after hours party at 4 am. We left there around 5:30. Dance, Dance, Dance! It's always fun dancing with Batman. We got home and fell into a heap of sex!

We slept all morning and got out of bed early in the afternoon. J got up before me. I think that has only happened once before. After breakfast we relaxed by the pool and rested more. Later that afternoon we went to "White Party Park". We had had enough dancing, but we had passes and hell, you never know what you'll see. It was the usual mix from the dance scene: twinks, bois, Daddies, muscles, punks, partiers, players, etc., a good mix.

Later I was driven to the airport in Ontario. A long depressing drive. I tried to be upbeat so that I wouldn't leave Batman on a sour note. Several times today I thought I would cry when thinking about him. I didn't but I sure miss him. He will be coming back here in May. We are not sure which weekend yet, but I am hoping he remembers my birthday and wants to be here for that. I may have to remind him.

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane...

Unfortunately, I know when I'll be back again!

This afternoon I am off to see Batman in Palm Springs for The White Party. He says the town is already starting to fill up with men. We are planning on attending at least two of the dances. Everyone tells me that I haven't seen anything like it...

A View With A Room

At this point, I am about 95% settled into my new home. The picture above is the view I have from my room. I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER! If the rain would just stop for a while in Northern California, that would be nice. We are having a record year. I suppose in the heat of August, when we are not smelling the forest fires, we will appreciate it more.

G, my new roommate is very cool. A really nice guy who anticipates the coming of summer as much as I. Rumor has it that he wears heals at the pool. Wait until he sees what I plan on wearing...

Tonight is Tuesday and I find myself thinking about my budz R and Ida. Are they eating crappy food at someone else's home? They better not be! We will be resuming "Teste Tuesdays" in a few weeks. The plan is to start rotating them at each others homes. I wish M, J and G luck!

Tap City For Teste Tuesday On T. St.

Tonight was the last Tuesday at this apartment. Since I had to run a few errands after work, I wasn't left much time for relaxing. It was important to me that I cook something and get it right. After pouring through my new cookbook, I eventually copped out and chose "Spicy Chicken and Rice Bake". Easy. You might think so...

Unfortunately, when I am in my kitchen I feel as uncomfortable as a guilty man on trial. Feeling the self-appointed pressure, I found myself standing in my kitchen with ingredients spread all over my counter and realizing that the clock was not on my side.

Suddenly I thought to myself WWRD? Immediately I grabbed a small bar glass, threw five ice cubes in it and topped them off with some Gentleman's Jack, set it aside. Next, I started slicing, measuring, sauteing, and hyperventilating. Remembered the Jack. Took a sip, then another...

By the time this concoction was being placed in the oven I started to realize whiskey wasn't so bad. I also realized I should probably only have the one.

Ida showed up first with the herbal therapy, but no Booger. I was surprised, I thought she would make it. R arrived with his arms full. He had prepared some fried ravioli and also had made a present. He had printed a peace poster and framed it. I can't wait to hang it in the new place.

Ida, as usual, was tea toddling it and got himself a coke. I made R a vodka and cranberry in a pint glass and opened myself up another Fat Tire.The evening was set for a good time.

We stood around and bullshitted for a while. There were green beans steaming on the oven that I thought would never get done. Once the bread that Ida brought was warmed, we all filled our plates in the kitchen and took them into the living room to our usual seats. R always has to be in the chair next to the door. He says that it is to keep Ida on the other side of the room. Not a bad idea... Ida and I always sit on the couch.

The black beans and rice were not bad. I will cook them again. The chicken is another story. I let it get overcooked while we were bullshitting. I told R that I had hung it out to dry all day. It did taste like it. The green beans, not so great either. I should have cooked them longer.

Am I giving up on cooking? Sorry guys, but no, not yet. There is a bbq in the backyard at the new house. Many years ago I was pretty good with a grill. I've cooked fish, chicken, steak, and a whole turkey and it turned out good ninety-eight percent of the time.

After laughing about how bad the food was, we continued to talk and laugh for the rest of the evening. Tuesdays are always good for my soul. Spending time with the people you care so much about and hearing their laughter while they enjoy themselves, is truly priceless.

R and Ida will have to travel a bit for the next Tuesday I host. I am not quite sure when that will be, but I am sure, it won't be soon enough.

WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?

In The Closet

Green In The Gills'

Ended up not even going out last night. Came down with chills and a fever and was only able to wrap myself up in all my blankets and rest. Not much fun... Whatever bug bit me, I hope I got a good chunk out of it first!

Happy St. Patty's Day

Im going out with the Usual Suspects this evening... I put this tattoo on my neck for that Irish thug look that is so popular these days.
Have fun, be safe.

Batman Arrives

This last Friday, my Superhero arrived in Northern California for a visit. As always, it was great to see him. Immediately after picking him up at the airport I took him to my favorite watering hole. There he was able to me AR, Ida, Rachel and Ronco. I warned him about the drinks... Later he said he should've heeded that warning. After dinner we came to my little crackhouse of an apartment and got down to some business!

The next day we ran around town and stopped at a few tattoo shops. Later that evening, it was Second Saturday. This is when all the galleries in Midtown open up at night and you can stroll from one to another. Many of them have entertainment or wine. It's a fun and interesting thing to do. After dinner we decided it was too cold to be running around and opted for picking up a movie and retiring.

Sunday we had plans to attend a brunch at TC and Hans' house. It was great for them to be able to meet who I have been talking about sooooo much. Susan was also there. She REALLY liked him.

That afternoon I dropped him off at the tattoo shop he had decided to get his first piece done at. When I picked him up he was ready. A little uncomfortable from the pain on his freshly scarred shoulder. He chose a nice tribal design which looked great.

Shortly thereafter I had to take him back to the airport. It is getting harder and harder to say good-bye after our times together. I miss him so much. He is such a good man with a heart of gold. I am still learning so much about him which just endears him to me even more.

I will not see him again until Easter weekend when I fly down to Palm Springs for The White Party. I could care less if we even attend any of the events.

It Ain't Easy Bein' A Pimp

I had my dawgs Mack Master R. Flow and Papa Bryan Clinton over last night. We just hung out drinkin pimpjuice and slappin ho-s...

Master Pimp John Kicks

Get Your Pimp Name

What's Your Ideal Career?

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems.You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian - Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer - Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher. The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

Get Yours

A Room With A View

After living in my little one bedroom apartment for over a year, I have decided to move on. Last week I saw an ad for a three bedroom house with a brand new pool. The owner was looking for a roommate.

I contacted him and asked to see the place later that day. My friend Tom lives in the same neighborhood and went with me. It was a very nice one story on a corner lot. The pool was beautiful with a nice bbq area off to the side. The room for rent is good sized and has a nice large window overlooking the pool.

We sat down with the owner and chatted a while. He seems like a very nice guy and we actually know a few of the same people. I think it will be a good match.

There have been quite a few good times had in this little apartment of mine. Some private, some not so... But it is time to move on. I will miss Midtown, but I actually have been going out less and less lately.

I am moving on the 25th. Another new beginning. If I could just find a new job...

"It's Not Easy Bein' Green"

Your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

I have to disagree with Kermit on this one.

Click here to find your color.

Teste Tuesday - Fast Forward Fourteen Years

As usual, R arrived right at 7:30. Just as he has for the last ten years. Ever since his brother was implicated in the now infamous "Nacho Incident", R has been at the helm of his family's business. He usually is at the office until 10 pm, but he makes time for Ida and me on Tuesdays. He knocked twice on the door before throwing it wide open and making a b-line for the bar.

While filling a shaker of martinis, he asked what it was he smelled wafting in from the kitchen. I began to tell him and was interrupted by Ida and Snot making their grand entrance.

I walked into the living room and Ida had already planted her ass in the couch while snapping her fingers signaling R to get that freshly poured martini into her wrinkled hands, immediately. By the time Ida brought the glass to her lips, Snot had just made it up the last step into the room. I grabbed a towel and laid it out in the corner for her. She knew the routine. After greeting R, she meandered towards me and plopped herself down. She is twelve now, and it is a wonder that she made it past ten. After her last dog, Ida kept saying she would never have another one. Then, on that fateful day at the carnival, she forgot all about her pet moratorium. When she saw Snot grabbing some shade under a trailer, which was just baking in the hot summer sun, she knew they were kindred souls. If it were not for daily dialysis, Snot would be long gone. When Ida won the lottery, Snot also won the lottery.

Ida smoked a bowl with me and then asked what I was serving. Damn, have I came a long way. Instead of grabbing something to eat on the way over to my house or on the way home, Ida and R have came to look forward to Tuesdays. Tonight they were both happy to learn that we were beginning with Crab Cakes with Fresh Chive Sauce and Tomato Concassee. Followed by a Baby Green Salad with Artichoke Vinaigrette. I was surprised they didn't recognize the Rondelle of Salmon with Juniper Berry Sauce by smell. I've lost count how many times I've cooked it!

While we ate, we talked about our weeks and retold stories that we all love hearing. And again, laughed about how much money I made reinventing the wheel.

After we finished the Chocolate Grand Marnier Torte with Orange Caramel Sauce, our stomachs were stretched and our eyes were heavy. Ida gathered up Snot in the corner, opened the door and whistled for her driver. As abruptly as they had entered the evening, they left.

When I turned from shutting the door behind them, I saw R sprawled out on the couch. I took his shoes off of his heavy legs and tossed a throw on top of him. When I turned the light off, I couldn't help but think how much I looked forward to next Tuesday.

Palm Springs Re-Visited

Batman and I had a great weekend filled with a lot of lounging. It was very nice. The weather wasn't that great so I was more than happy just to hang in The Cave.

He is going to come to my town the weekend of the 11th and 12th of March. I can't wait for my friends to meet him. A few of them have already, but only for brief moments.

I have completely fallen for this man and hope that I finally have gotten it right.

Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter

It looks as though the Republicans will end up killing each other.

Last Dance, Last Chance...

EPISODE FOUR

I have never had such an enjoyable trip. Was it the cruise or the company? The company!

Every day there were countless activities to choose from. Batman and I were always in agreement as to how to share our time. Some days were extremely laid back. We'd sleep in, eat a lot, and lay by the pool. Other days we would enjoy an off-board excursion and go to different dances or shows at night.

We didn't attend a show that we could've done without. We saw Margaret Cho, Kristine W, a Broadway Revue, ice dancing (yes, the boat even had an ice rink!), The Facts of Life (a campy drag queen version of your favorite boarding house gurls with a twist - Blair and Jo are operating a brothel in the house. Since the "boi look" is so popular, Jo is in high demand, which as you can imagine, doesn't sit well with Blair).

The dances were also incredible spectacles. There we were, a floating tribe in the Caribbean while lasers were shooting outward from the top deck. The deejay list included Manny Lehmen, Warren Gluck, Abel, and Tony Moran.

As soon as we left Miami, the weather was perfect. By Friday I was relaxed but worn out, soaked by the sun and wanting more, horny yet completely satiated, tired from all the dancing but keeping my dancing shoes on!

I don't remember who the deejay was or if there was even a theme for the last tea dance that afternoon. We both enjoyed the music while dancing off to the side of the usual moving melee. While gazing over the top of the sea of bouncing heads on the dancefloor, I noticed the sun was beginning to disappear. I grabbed Batman by the hand and led him to the side of the ship.

Every night the sunset was beautiful. This evening was no different. As we locked our eyes on the sinking orb, I wrapped my arms around my Superhero. We stood there for quite some time just holding each other and appreciating what The Universe had allowed us to witness.

As I stood there with this amazing man thinking about all the times I had wanted to tell him how I had completely fallen for him, I kept hearing my good buddy TC tell me to make sure that I created moments while on the trip. The setting, the man, the feelings were all in alignment, yet I couldn't put myself out there. Unfortunately, Robin doubles as Super Chicken! I've regretted it ever since.

The next morning, we awoke to the sound of rain and the bustling of Miami. It was hard to say good-bye to the ship. I wanted keep her, but decided that even I didn't have a bag that large...

Batman took me to the airport several hours later. After his truck was out of sight I exhaled a huge breath and released the tears I had been holding back. When would I see him again? Why didn't I muster the courage to let him know how I felt? Would my feelings be reciprocated? Is there a future for this Dynamic Duo?

I arrived back in Northern California very early on Sunday morning. By Monday morning I couldn't handle the uncertainty an longer. This Caped Coward fired off an e-mail to Batman detailing how I felt and explaining how there were many times on the ship that I had wanted to express these feelings.

SEVERAL hours later I got the response I had hoped for. Batman felt the same way. He also had wanted to say things to me, but couldn't... I have never cried so many tears of joy!

This coming Friday we will be reunited in Palm Springs. Needless to say, I can't wait! This time, I am not holding back!

Even though it was our last dance on the boat, it wasn't our last chance.

When Pigs Fly

My Funny Valentine...

Our Door - Cabin #7340

EPISODE THREE

Since Batman had been on a few of these cruises before, he knew that it is customary to decorate the cabin door. He had teased me for a few weeks leading up to the cruise that he had the door planned but would not give me a clue as to what he was up to.

I was quite pleased when I was able to see it. Especially the "Dynamic Duo" printed above the leather pride flag. It made me wish everyone had a Superhero.

Half-Nekkid Thursday

I thought I would join Michael for this weekly tradition...

What Day Is it?

EPISODE TWO

While on the Ship, and especially now, the days have all blurred together. A few nights our heads didn't hit the pillow for sleep until the sun was rising on top of the aquatic landscape. I think it was the second night, not sure which dance we were at, but we decided to leave one area of the ship to check out another dance which was occurring at the same time. It was shortly after midnight. When we stepped into the elevator we immediately noticed there was a plate screwed into the middle of the floor, which measured approximately eight inches in width by about thirty inches in length. On the plate was the word "MONDAY". We looked at it and laughed and talked about how we knew what day it was...

As I have said before, the ship was immense. With 3,200 gay men aboard it took quite a crew to keep everyone happy. I have no idea how many crew members there were, but I did hear that they came from fifty-seven different countries. Think about it. There were servers for every restaurant, bartenders, cashiers, cooks, janitors, cabin-keepers, entertainers, etc. That is a great number of people needed for such a floating resort. The majority of them were extremely helpful and polite. I am sure many of them have thankless jobs.

I woke up one morning, later in the week, and Batman was sound asleep snoring with content. I quietly gathered up a few things and headed out for some coffee. When I stepped into the elevator I was shocked to learn it was "THURSDAY" already. Where had the week gone?

Thank you Mister-Elevator-Plate-Changer!
Robin - Cabin #7340

Batman & Robin Take On The Seven Seas

EPISODE ONE

Apparently when superheroes go on vacation, the way they recharge is by DANCING!
Batman picked me up as scheduled at Miami International. It was so good to see him I thought I was going to cry.
After settling in at the hotel and getting cleaned up, we walked over to Lincoln Road. If you ever go to Miami, this is a must see on a Friday or Saturday evening. The road itself is closed off from car traffic and is several blocks long. Stretching down both sides of the street are trendy shops, galleries, and restaurants with outdoor seating. Just a cockring toss away is a very gay gym. It is a gathering place of many locals. Very crowded yet comfortable with a European feel. We had a nice dinner before heading back to the room.
Later that night we went to SPACE to drop and twirl. There were so many men just posing they could've put Madonna's "Vogue" on a loop and let it play all night. Of course, The Dynamic Duo had a great time regardless.
The next morning we were out of the room by noon and took a walk along the boardwalk in South Beach. It borders the beach and the back of some very fine hotels. As we walked and talked we were surrounded by the beauty of the new and some very old architecture on one side and the ocean on the other. We walked quite a while before we stopped and had some lunch at The Palace Bar and Restaurant. We took a different route back to the car. I enjoyed every step.
A little later that afternoon we got on board an amazing ship. It was incredible. By the end of the cruise we were still unsure how to get to certain places we had been before. It was that large. That first evening as we left Miami the dancing began. If you were ever fortunate enough to go to Club Universe (on Saturdays) or Pleasuredome (Sundays) in San Francisco, when it was still open, that is what the dance parties equated to: Large, Loud, Crowded, In-Your-Face, Dance-Till-You-Drop FUN!
How do you follow up a day like that? By having incredible sex for hours until dropping into a heap and drifting off to sleep.

THE LOVE BOAT, EXCITING AND NEW

Come Aboard
They're expecting you...

What a week! Today I am home and have been muddling my way through errands. The cruise was more than I could have hoped for... Unfortunately, I have this fear that no matter where I am, if I hear dance music, I will tear off my shirt and jump on top of the nearest cube. Only because I am so exhausted from the trip, I feel it is my duty and obligation to the City of Sacramento to keep myself inside my apartment where I can make sure nobody else experiences this... When I have fully recovered, I will post more.

A Crapshoot?

This coming Friday I arrive in Miami and Finally get to see Batman again! God, I have been driving my friends and myself crazy with anticipation!

Batman is picking me up at the airport and we are still not sure where we are staying that night. There is a HUGE dance party at Miami's biggest club that night, which we are planning to attend. As I recall, the men in Miami are exceptionally beautiful. The only drawback is that they know it. My optic nerve will probably go into overload with all the EyE (heh) candy. It doesn't matter who I am with when I am dropping and dancing. I always end up with a sore neck from looking around so much! Batman has already experienced this phenomena.

This cruise is probably going to be the best vacation I have experienced thus far. Truth be told, I would be just as excited if I were meeting Batman in Peoria! I miss him and I want him! When I return home, I expect to either be in love or licking my wounds. It's worth the risk, the emotional payoff is there!

Cruising for a Culinary Tutor for Teste Tuesdays

Apparently I should not walk up to a good looking male stranger and ask which sign he is, if heaven is missing an angel, or if that is pork I smell. I also shouldn't waste time commenting on how large his boots are or tell him how much he will like having his face buried in my pillow, according to my two best friends.

No, Ida has made it clear that I don't have time for any of that frivolity. And Phyllis was laughing much too hard to not be in agreement. Instead of finding fun, I should be concentrating on finding somebody with the knowledge of Julia Child and the patience of Gandhi. Someone who can turn this klutz in the kitchen into a prince of the palate.

I am not surprised. It actually makes me laugh. They have been coming over here for months every Tuesday and eating whatever I put in font of them. My taste buds probably gave up years ago. I have always said that I eat to live, not live to eat.

OK guys, I promise to do something about it. Either I will make sure the cocktails are stronger or rotate Chinese, pizza and buckets of chicken on Tuesday evenings. Or even better yet, I could take your exact advice and enroll in a class!

Thanks for the honesty. My future husband thanks you also!

Hopeful for 2006

It has been quite a while since I have posted. I am unsure why... I made it through the Holidays unscathed and without too much melancholy. Thanks TC!

I am optimistic that the New Year will be fruitful and memorable for all of those I love as well as myself.

In eighteen days I fly to Miami to meet up with Batman for our cruise. I can't wait to see his smile and spend time with him again. I don't have a clue where the two of us are headed, if anywhere, but I believe this will be a defining trip. I am hoping for the best... Regardless of the outcome, I am going to have FUN!

Work has been blah and I am having some difficulty finding my drive. At the very least, I am sure out of desperation it will appear. I have begun to look for a new job. It will probably take a while to find a position that I actually want because I am innately lazy and hate working. Although, I have worked since I was sixteen years old. At many times in my life I have held more than one job. I don't want to go back to that.

Cheers to the New Year, new experiences, relationships, loves, opportunities and peace!

And To All A Good Night...

Merry Christmas Everyone! (I hope none of you find this well-meaning blessing offensive)

Today, I am off to spend the Holiday with TC and his large family. I expect it to be crowded, loud, joyous and am really looking forward to it. Just like the ones I used to spend with my own family. I haven't been home for Christmas in years, it's just too damn cold in Illinois this time of year for a visit.

Upon returning tomorrow, I am immediately heading to Ida and Joe's. Then I hope to find R and F to get drunk with, if they're not already trashed! If so, it can wait until Monday.

I've said it many times before, I LOVE MY FRIENDS.

Does Anybody Know The Zip Code At The North Pole?

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at R's Office party. It was B who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like piss.
I thought it was funny when I put J's jockstrap on my head and danced the The Chicken Dance on the Sling while singing `Wildthing'. I didn't mean to break R's Tense Unit and don't know why R would accuse me of Burglary.
I don't remember calling H's wife a sweet pig---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and yellow lipstick!
And when I threw up on J's husband's dick, it was only because I ate too much of that whipped cream.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford truck through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a nasty pig and have me arrested for murder!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all pretty and shiny. And I'm really not to blame for any of this soft stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and swiftly yours,J (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 13 bucks!


You can write your own at:
Dear Santa,

What Does Your Fridge Look Like?

It Will Be A White Christmas

As you can see from my last post, I wasn't in the best space.

Woe is me 0 Life Is Good 4

Today, I was fortunate to see four different friends. One (R) is such a good friend, he hung out at the car dealership for a few hours with me. Another, (Ida) got me to relax afterwards. Two more (TC & H) invited me over for some dinner and camaraderie.

In the middle of all that, the Batphone rang.

After the storm, there is always a new day.

Thanks Guys!

Will It Be A White or A Blue Christmas?

I don't know what has came over me lately. I have been experiencing "moments" about twice a day for over a week now. Sometimes when I get home from work and Crooner is no longer there, that will trigger one.

At other times, I realize that I am really wanting someone to share my life with. Up until recently, I have been very happy being alone. It isn't like I haven't had the opportunity to begin new relationships this last year. I think I have done the right thing and not allowed that after the last relationship. Is it the season that is upon us now that is triggering this? Or is it the unfortunate events I have experienced lately just overwhelming me?

Waking up day after day alone, with no one next to me to greet the day with seems to bother me more on the weekends. During the week I am too busy in the morning. But when I get home and the kitty isn't there, it seems to touch something deep inside me.

Don't get me wrong, I am not running around with a box of tissues under my arm. I realize that there is a great deal of happiness in my life. My friends are a great source for that. I see joy everywhere.

Just yesterday, after experiencing my biggest "moment" so far, I was driving to pick up Ida. On the way, I noticed this woman walking her dog. She was fairly non-descript walking quite matter-of-factly. The dog was rather large and I was not sure what breed he was. But the two of them together, walking in unison towards the park, just brought a smile to my face.

Today I have so much to get accomplished there isn't any room for melancholy. Between grocery shopping, wrestling with car salesmen, and wrapping presents there will be no time for tears.

I think I will begin this hectic day with a workout and a run. The endorphins will prop up my droopy chin. Who knows, maybe the Batphone will ring!

My Gayest Christmas Decoration

Michael had asked what the gayest Christmas ornament we had displayed. So far, this is the gayest one in my house.

The Grinch Threw A Christmas Party

Last night was my employers Christmas party. It has been a tough year for those of us who have stuck it out. There have been a few employees leave for various reasons. Some of those reasons include: inadequate health insurance, no dental or vision plans, ever increasing work loads, self-admitted unattainable goals for the quarterly bonus program... When additional help has been hired, they have no experience and are clueless interacting with humans. You get what you paid for...
Two years ago, at my first Christmas party with this employer, I received $200 in cash. I had only been there for eight weeks and I was pretty happy. Last year, the bonus was $500 minus the taxes. Again, I was pleased. This year, instead of handing out envelopes and roasting each employee, as was the tradition, there was a white elephant gift exchange - gifts provided. I ended up with a new day planner plus $150 in cash. Great, now I will think of the cheap bastard every day of the year.
Some of you may think that I am ungrateful. Believe me, I am not. I have worked my ass off for this company and so have others.
I told myself two months ago that if the bonus at the end of the year sucked, it would be time to move on. This morning, my ears are ringing from the "beep, beep, beep" of the moving truck backing up.
At the end of January I have a week of vacation scheduled. There is no way I am going to jeopardize that. I suppose it would be best to get the latest edition of my resume out to the world during the first week of the month.
What are the chances that the Grinch's heart will grow three sizes? Slim to none! I think it will be best to check out of Who-ville.

I Am Navin R. Johnson

I went to see "Annie" yesterday at the auto graveyard. It was difficult seeing her in such a state. She had been stripped, violated and abandoned. I know, it sounds like just another Friday night in my life.

They didn't even have her propped up on blocks for my viewing. No wheels, bumpers, sunroof, stereo, the list goes on. She was just resting there on the cold asphalt.

First I opened her hatchback. No, the sling wasn't in there. Damn, damn, damn! But they did leave the temporary spare. THANKS! Next I walked over to her drivers side door and gently opened it. The poor thing, there were work papers and catalogs strewn all about. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't keep her up to many people's standards, but she was really quite a mess.

I began to look for ANYTHING that might be saved. Unfortunately, all that was salvageable was the car adapter for my work cell phone.

As tears welled up in my eyes, I turned away from her while clutching the adapter and said, "This is all I need..."

Somebody Pimped My Ride

Yesterday morning I dragged my slow moving ass to the grocery store to get some desperately needed staples. I was inside the store for twenty-five minutes max. When I got about thirty feet from where I had parked my car, I realized "Annie" was not there. After stopping momentarily, I kept my eyes glued to the empty parking space and still went right to it until I was standing where my car had been. Yes, I was very tired, but I knew exactly where I had left my car.

While I was standing there in a state of shock, my phone rang. Could this be Xzibit calling to let me know my car would be returned in a few days with a brand new makeover? Unfortunately not. It was my good friend TC calling to see what I was up to. "I am standing here realizing that my car was just stolen" I said. There I was, four bags of groceries and a twelve pack of beer with nothing to load them into.

Six hours later I received a call from a neighboring county sheriff's Department. Annie had been found. It wasn't good news. She had been stripped of her wheels, front and back bumpers, under-carriage, stereo system... I told them I had heard enough. I would let the insurance agency deal with the details.

This is hardly what I needed to experience at this point in my life. What really pissed me off, was that my sling was in the back of the car. Damn, why was I so lazy to not bring it in Saturday evening? Shit! I wonder if the little dismantlers even knew what it was? Did they leave it? I wont know until later today or maybe tomorrow.

December is starting so well. First the kitty died, now the car has been destroyed. To make matters worse, yesterday I put on my "dancing jeans" and they were unusually tight! Argh! Hopefully, the remainder of the month will bring happiness, cheer, and the loss of five pounds!

Move Over Paula Abdul

Last night I was fortunate enough to go to an NBA game. Not just go, I had a seat in the fifth row. Before I knew it, something came over me.

Fuck! Who knew that by grabbing some bimbo cheerleader's little outfit, jumping into it and running out onto the court with the rest of the little bitches you could get in so much trouble?

Once "My" number was over, I was ushered off the floor. Immediately, I knew I was in trouble. The pushing, the shoving, the unspeakable names they were calling me. Suddenly I realized it wasn't Security that had grabbed me. No, it was much worse. I was surrounded by the remaining Royal Court Dancers.

You would've thought I had yelled "Bomb!" in a TSA line.

It's not like I didn't have the dance routine down. Hell, I practiced for weeks.

Were they demanding that I tell them what I did with Tiffany? Nope, not at all. All they wanted to know was, who did my makeup and how did I perfect the moves they had been working on for months!

After fruitless hours of interrogation, they weakened from their own mal-nourishment. One by one, they fell into a heap of sequence and tassels. It wasn't pretty.

I got out of there with just a few scratches, but for a moment I couldn't help but think of Tiffany. Would anybody find her? Would anybody care? Would the duct tape leave a rash?

Fuck Tiffany, for a moment, I was a STAR!