Somebody Pimped My Ride

Yesterday morning I dragged my slow moving ass to the grocery store to get some desperately needed staples. I was inside the store for twenty-five minutes max. When I got about thirty feet from where I had parked my car, I realized "Annie" was not there. After stopping momentarily, I kept my eyes glued to the empty parking space and still went right to it until I was standing where my car had been. Yes, I was very tired, but I knew exactly where I had left my car.

While I was standing there in a state of shock, my phone rang. Could this be Xzibit calling to let me know my car would be returned in a few days with a brand new makeover? Unfortunately not. It was my good friend TC calling to see what I was up to. "I am standing here realizing that my car was just stolen" I said. There I was, four bags of groceries and a twelve pack of beer with nothing to load them into.

Six hours later I received a call from a neighboring county sheriff's Department. Annie had been found. It wasn't good news. She had been stripped of her wheels, front and back bumpers, under-carriage, stereo system... I told them I had heard enough. I would let the insurance agency deal with the details.

This is hardly what I needed to experience at this point in my life. What really pissed me off, was that my sling was in the back of the car. Damn, why was I so lazy to not bring it in Saturday evening? Shit! I wonder if the little dismantlers even knew what it was? Did they leave it? I wont know until later today or maybe tomorrow.

December is starting so well. First the kitty died, now the car has been destroyed. To make matters worse, yesterday I put on my "dancing jeans" and they were unusually tight! Argh! Hopefully, the remainder of the month will bring happiness, cheer, and the loss of five pounds!