Does Anybody Know The Zip Code At The North Pole?

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at R's Office party. It was B who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like piss.
I thought it was funny when I put J's jockstrap on my head and danced the The Chicken Dance on the Sling while singing `Wildthing'. I didn't mean to break R's Tense Unit and don't know why R would accuse me of Burglary.
I don't remember calling H's wife a sweet pig---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and yellow lipstick!
And when I threw up on J's husband's dick, it was only because I ate too much of that whipped cream.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford truck through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a nasty pig and have me arrested for murder!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all pretty and shiny. And I'm really not to blame for any of this soft stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and swiftly yours,J (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 13 bucks!


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